BY ADAM QUANDT | The Statesman Netflix and Chill: 3-Headed Shark Attack
Director: Christopher Ray
Genre: Horror
Length: 89 minutes
Netflix rating: 1/5
My rating: .5/5
Asylum Films has brought us the oh-so memorable movies “Sharknado,” “Snakes on a Train” and now “3-Headed Shark Attack.”
If you’ve seen a movie from Asylum before, then you know what you’re in for when you make the decision to watch another one. If you haven’t seen a movie from Asylum before, don’t expect much unless you’re looking for a good laugh.
In short, “3-Headed Shark Attack” is basically “Jaws” on steroids with surprisingly worse acting, a terrible plot and even more fake blood.
“3-Headed Shark Attack” tells the story of a group of scientists working near a garbage dump in the ocean to study the effects of the garbage on the wildlife.
One thing the movie did nicely was not waste time in getting the shark involved. Within the first 15 minutes at least seven people are killed by the shark (which can apparently crawl up on shore).
After the group becomes aware of the shark, the rest of the movie is pretty much just a crap-storm of terrible, emotionless actors and actresses stupidly trying to outrun the shark as their friends get eaten one by one.
While the group is trying to contact other boats for help, they finally reach a fishing boat. I was surprised to see actor Danny Trejo (Machete, Spy Kids, etc.) playing the captain of the fishing boat in such a low-budget movie (I’m sure most of the budget went to Trejo for his role).
After arriving on the scene where the shark is, Trejo’s character and the rest of the group quickly learn that if you cut off one of the shark’s heads, it simply grows two more.
Next comes another crap storm of terrible acting. However, instead of being emotionless, things go to the opposite end of the spectrum and get a little over-emotional.
Basically, unless you’re looking for a laugh, have nothing else to do with your life or just really like sharks for some reason, “3-Headed Shark Attack” is definitely a movie you should keep scrolling past on Netflix.