BY RYLEE STAFFARONI | Guest Contributor | Walking around school, I’ve noticed a few things. I’ve noticed new faces, new spots to study and also the huge line to the coffee shop, but one of the things that stand out the most is that it’s quiet.
No one is talking to one another. In fact, most of us aren’t even looking at each other. Instead, we’re looking straight down into our palms where our prized possession lies: our cell phone. To look around and see that everyone is looking into their phones instead of at one another is a troubling change I wasn’t expecting to see.
I’m guilty of this too, of having that urge to check your phone when something is uncomfortable or just finding a way to pass the time between classes. None of us are able to look around and really take in what’s going on. No one is fully engaged with their surroundings and the people that are in it.
We’re beginning to be more connected with our phones and social media than those around us. A study done in Japan in 2013 found that Internet addiction is connected with loneliness and mobile phone dependence. Internet use was shown to cause loneliness by distracting people from the real world and keep them from experiencing a sense of connection with real people.
A great short article from the New York Times written by Richard Perloff explains how even though technology connects us with each other, it’s not the same personal connection that we would get face to face. It also explains how when people start to get older they will stop using their phones as much. When this starts to happen we won’t know how to make real connections with people and will experience a disconnect with the world and ourselves.
We crave the attention and conversation with other people but choose to search for that connection in the wrong way. We wait for those likes, those shares and all of those comments on the picture we just posted. We want to be stimulated and feel part of a community. The problem is that we then don’t know how to connect with people once we have spent most of our time, energy and attention on our phones and social media. People don’t get the same spark from talking to a stranger as we do from getting likes on Facebook.
A couple weeks ago I joined a program called The Heart of a Leader. We talked about how important it is to really put yourself out in the community and make as many connections as you can. We learned how to make these connections genuine and strong. What made this so effective was putting our phones down and having a conversation face to face.
After this program and being with these people all day without our phones, we all had a strong, encouraging, supportive and connected group. There is obviously a connection between our ability to make strong relationships with people and the amount of time we spend on our phone. We need to change the way we do things and it needs to happen fast.
Having more of these programs and chances for people to work together is a great way for people to make strong connections with one another without using their phones. Any chance that we get to be able to put our phones down and talk to one another face to face is an opportunity that we should always take.
As John Gregory wrote in the New York Times:
“There’s no app to deepen an understanding of our lives. This is a problem that tech-dependent young adults will confront when their phones stop buzzing.” If we don’t learn how to put our phones down now, by the time we’ve realized what we’ve lost and what great opportunities we’ve missed being able to connect with one another, it will already be too late.