Staying silent costs lives

It’s only the second week of school, which means great things for a lot of students. Some professors are still relaxed on their rules during the second week shuffle, and the school is still giving out free food. It’s been a great week for some. For me, it’s an exciting time. Rushing around buying my books, feeling the excitement of the freshmen and catching up with old friends.

But, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread along with it, because I know what week is right around the corner.

The second week of school is also National Suicide Prevention week. Which, unfortunately, hits home for a lot of us.

Statistics show that suicides are rising in Minnesota to an all-time high. Health officials released a statement last month saying suicides are up 11.2 percent from last year, and reporting 684 suicides in the most recent study period.

Most of these were reported in the 25-35 age group. Due to confidentiality laws, it’s nearly impossible to narrow that number down to college students, but we’d be fools to pretend it isn’t a problem on college campuses, including ours.

Studies and surveys focus on different age groups, but the bottom line is always the same: you can’t put an age on those at risk for taking their own lives.

On Sept. 10, 2004, my best friend took her life. She was 13 years old. Needles to say, it shook me to my core and put me in a dark place for a long time.

I kept telling myself I should have tried harder. I should have voiced my concerns more. I should have done more. Nine years later, I still catch myself thinking like this. It’s still hard to go to bed the night before, knowing the day that changed my life forever is almost upon me. More than anything I find myself wanting to just sit down and have a conversation with her—one I would always start, but be too afraid finish.

This is something I’ve learned is a pretty common feeling among students of all ages.

“Friends a lot of the time are fearful if they bring it up it’ll push them over the edge,” said Jean Baribeau-Thoennes, a counselor and associate program director at UMD Health Services. “That’s absolutely not true. Talk to them. Talk to us. In the long run, it helps.”

One thing that UMD is doing well is opening that door for college students to start talking. With free and confidential counseling offered through Health Services, there are many options for students. Whether it’s you or someone you know who is struggling, all you need to do is take that first step and walk through the door.

“There’s a saying I’m fond of that says that ‘suicide is often a permanent solution to a sometimes temporary problem,’” Baribeau-Thoennes said. “I think that’s true. Don’t sit with it alone—it can get better. Reach out. If counseling feels too big a step, find someone you trust and let them know.”

Looking back on my personal experiences, this statement rings true. Life is supposed to be this fun, crazy, emotional adventure, and sometimes we hit a bump in the road. Eventually those road bumps will end, you just have to ride them out. Easier said than done, I know, but remember—it doesn’t seem like such a lonely journey if you have someone to talk to along the way.

When it comes to Emily’s death I stopped asking myself why, what if, and how come a long time ago. They still hold answers I want to know, but I’ve accepted the fact that I will never know. Instead I focus my energy on “what now?”

BY ANNE KUNKEL CHRISTIANSON kunke063@d.umn.edu *Anne is Statesman Editor-in-Chief

PHOTO BY SARA HUGHES

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